Coconuts and the Lack of Spawn

As soon as we’re done with the first priest, another one herds us over to another section of the temple and another shrine. Here we are made to sit Indian style next to each other in front of the deity’s image. The priest busies himself with gathering the various necessities:  incense, matches, leaves, flowers, water, etc.

Again our hands are intertwined and the chanting begins. Much of the ceremony is the same. Names are asked and given. Parentage is discussed. We take the puja water from each other’s cupped hands. It was a bit more difficult to follow along as this priest appeared to be missing all his teeth and couldn’t open his jaw nearly at all.

We follow his gestures and mumblings as best we can. More kokum and yellow paste are placed on our foreheads. A string of marigolds are tied to the red thread placed on our wrists from the previous priest. A strew of items is given to us that include the burning incense, a yellow flower, and half a coconut, among other things. He gestures for us to hold it out in front of us while moving it in small circles. We comply. He takes the items back and proceeds to place the half coconut on my head. While pressing it into my skull, as if to become a permanent ornament, his indistinguishable chant continues. Justin’s curly topped head is next.

He then motions to me and mumbles unintelligibly, but I don’t quite understand. I get the impression that he’s asking if I’m pregnant, but surely that can’t be it. I look to Justin for help, but he’s as confused as I. To make his inquiry known, he reaches forward and pats my belly. Apparently that was exactly what he was asking. We heartily deny any growing spawn and he chuckles at our vehemence.

He continues and of course another donation is required. Out comes the 500/-Rs. Money exchanges hands, to me, to the priest, to the altar. Ushering us down the cracked marble steps, the priest directs us to stand shoulder to shoulder facing the god’s image. Unsatisfied by the vast three inch expanse between us, he promptly shoves us together. Palms pressed together in reverence, we behold the god. With that, we are officially Hindu husband and wife.

Polyandry: acceptable when the guys are in different countries

After seeing the caves and Justin spent time with the monkeys, we drive to another amazing and historical site. In a place called Dhauli is a structure named Shanti Stupa. Shanti means peace and stupa is a type of pagoda specifically for Buddhist relics. It is absolutely breathtaking. Unfortunately my camera battery died. Horrible. I know. This was the site of the Kalinga War where King Ashoka, upon seeing all the Bhuddist monks willingly sacrifice their lives rather than fight, converted to Buddhism. He became a great advocate of Buddhism and sent his own family members abroad as missionaries to spread the message of Buddha.

Krishnayya garu decides not to come with us to look around because his knees are bothering him. So Justin and I climb the steps and stare in awe at this magnificent structure. As we are going around the perimeter of the building we notice more steps and decide to find out where they lead. The path at the end of the stairs takes us through a few vendors selling sugar can juice and knick knacks. The path comes to an end at a small Hindu temple. This may seem odd to have a Hindu temple literally right next to a significant Buddhist site, but that's India for you.

As Justin and I walk around we are stopped by one of the priests. He asks us from which country we come and his english is quite good. He beckons us to follow him and we do. We've performed puja* before so this wasn't unusual or new. The priest takes our hands and has us form what would be described as a palms to the sky, fingers together ok sign. It gets a little weird though because he interlocks our hands. We don't think much of it and the priests starts chanting. He asks for our names and we give it to him. He adds them to the chanting and then asks for our fathers' names. Those are added to the verbal stew. 
Suddenly, he stops chanting and says, "You're married right?" We are...just not to each other. Knowing that it would be hard for him to understand why two married people are together without their spouses, I shoot a look at Justin for help. He says, "Yes. We are." and I begin to giggle because the thought of us as husband and wife is just that funny. He whispers, "Just go with it." So I do. Satisfied, the priest continues. Mothers' names are asked and given. Kumkum is placed on our foreheads. We look upon the deity's image and are told to think of any troubles we are having and that he will take care of them. The priest quickly mentions something about having an Indian wedding then continues on with the chanting. We are given red string which we must tie around each others right wrists, placing a marigold under the string. Finally, the priest places us shoulder to shoulder and puts our arms around each other. We must circle the temple once like this and return to him. 
As we are walking away with our arms around each others waist, the truth of what just happened hits us. That priest just married us. 
As we continue our walk around the temple I can't stop laughing. Justin explains that he thought saying yes would make the puja go faster. It did the exact opposite. We complete our journey and return to the priest. He finishes up the ritual by asking for a donation. Justin goes to pull out a 100 Rs note, which is more than we've seen anyone give, and is told that only 500 Rs notes will do. Justin gives me the "donation" to offer to the god's image since apparently the wife is the one who must offer it. Now the priest tells us that we must come back in one year to this same temple, but there's a stipulation on our return. We must come with our son and daughter that we will have within the next year. He makes us promise and that concludes our Hindu wedding ceremony...or so I thought.

*Puja is a Hindu ritual performed at temples to show reverence and devotion to a deity.

Philosophy and Caves

Krishnayya garu*, the site director, is a retired philosophy professor and has many contacts in the academic community. So it wasn't unusual that he was invited to a two day conference regarding consciousness. The conference would take place in Bhubaneswar, the capitol of the neighboring state Orissa. 

Krishnayya thought it would be a good opportunity for us students to have a short holiday and invited anyone to join him to explore the sites. Only one other student, Justin, and I take him up on this offer. 

The conference is to take place on February 16 and 17 so we leave Vishakhapatnam on the 15th taking a train up to Orissa. The 8hr train ride wasn't horrible as I slept for the majority of it. Once arriving at the Bhubaneswar station we clamor off the train and muscle our way through the never ending throng of people. We look around for someone sent by the conference to pick us up and can't find him. With our stomachs beginning to eat themselves and the fatigue setting in, we decide to do the death run across the always busy intersection to a small hotel restaurant. Its after 10pm and we're beat so we check in for the night. 

The next morning rolls around and a car is sent for us to take us to the university hosting the conference. Justin and I have been told that we'll be dropping Krishnayya garu off at the conference and then the driver will take us around as we please. Of course this is India and things change. Dr. Mohanty, head of the philosophy department and man in charge of the conference, expresses his desire to have us present at the conference and that we can site see when we break for lunch. Oh goody. Suffice it to say we were bored out of our minds. Thankfully the break finally came and it was time for lunch, which was amazingly delicious.

Once fed and happy, the three of us hop in the car and head for the Udaygiri & Khandagiri caves. These caves were established in the 2nd century BC. They were places where Jain monks would come for meditation and seclusion as they believed in an existence stripped of worldly comforts. The caves have amazing relief carvings. There aren't any barriers so everyone is allowed to climb over everything and crawl into the caves themselves. Its really an amazing place. 

*Garu is a Telugu honorific. It is a way of showing respect for one's teacher or mentor. It is similar to calling your college teacher Professor or Doctor instead of Mr. or Mrs.