Wait... there are rules for driving?

The first day I arrived in Vizag I learned a quick lesson in Indian driving. A few others and I were picked up from the airport by the program director, Dr. Charles Nuckolls, and the site director, Krishnayya garu, who had rented out cars for us. It was a pretty big deal. The cars even had AC so you know we were riding in style. 

The drivers loaded our luggage and we climbed on in. Of course I couldn't help but notice that the driver sat on the right and we drove on the left side of the road. However that wasn't the biggest difference, not by a long shot. We were swerving in and out of traffic, going off the road at times, driving in the middle of the lanes, making our own lanes, honking at anything and everything, and of course speeding like there was no tomorrow, which is exactly what I was thinking. Either we were going to die or someone else was. No way were going to make it to the house without killing or maiming someone. 

It may sound like I'm exaggerating, but that is exactly what driving is like here. Here are a few things to expect on the roads. 

1.) Cars generally drive on the left side of the road, but you don't have to if they guy in front of you is going too slow. (The definition of "going too slow" is being in front of someone.) 
2.) Cattle, people, and dogs are always in the road so you honk like crazy, don't slow down, and swerve around them leaving only a few inches between your car and them. 
3.) Everyone honks. Everyone. Its not the same as in the States. People don't honk to show anger or frustration. They honk to signal that they are coming so watch out or to tell the car changing lanes to stop because they are in that lane. 
4.) There are no such things as lanes, just spaces where your vehicle will and will not fit and even that is iffy. Two lanes going in one direction easily accommodates three cars and a couple motorbikes/scooters. 
5.) Stop signs mean nothing.
6.) Traffic lights sometimes mean stop.
7.) It is perfectly acceptable to careen down winding mountainous roads while driving in both of the only two lanes.
8.) When crossing an intersection or round about, you absolutely do not stop. Just keep driving and swerve when necessary. The same rule is relevant to pedestrians. Once an opening is found don't stop and be aware of your surroundings.
9.) Auto-rickshaws can be packed with as many people as an SUV while being the size of a compact car. 
10.) Police exist but don't ask me what they do cause I have no idea.